TAKING DOWN ZOMBIES WITH SOFTBALL

Nine times out of ten, you’ll kill a zombie that’s right in front of you…not 50 feet away. You might be thinking of a million different ways to kill it in your head right now, but don’t think to hard. I’ve got you covered!

I went ahead and visited the Long Beach State women’s softball team after one of their practices, so they can give you some insight on how to take on the zombies.

Softball is fantastic in killing a zombie that say, just happened to walk into Dodgers Stadium while you’re watching Yasiel Puig slam one out of the park. So of course you’re probably thinking, “IS THIS REAL RIGHT NOW?!”

Yes, friend.

Everybody’s evacuating or panicking or running up and down the stairs for some reason, but there’s something else going on in your head. You have this little spark of something. You remember reading SOMETHING about how to kill zombies with a bat and some cleats and some really hard (slightly explosive) base/softballs.

Next step, fully remember what you read and saw and heard here, run into the dugout, suit up and get to work.

In this video below, senior outfielder Leilani Tupua-Tautalatasi describes then demonstrates how to kill a zombie three different ways using everything she’s learned from softball with some help from her teammates…and her softball gear.

Now, I have to remind you of the disclaimer section of this blog….please forgive me.

BUT, it wasn’t so bad, right?

Lucky for you, LBSU plays UC Davis at the 49er softball complex on March 28 at 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. Busy that day? No worries. They play again the next day at 1 p.m.

So come out and see how hard they’ll really hit those zombies!

Here is the interview portion I did with Leilani because we all know the zombie apocalypse is about way more than just killing zombies…

DESTROYING ZOMBIES WITH TRACK & FIELD

Zombies aren’t always up in your face.

Sometimes they’re a little far away. Sometimes you’re just chillin’ on your porch, and a zombie happens to come up on your fence surrounded with long wooden stakes that would normally do the job, but you haven’t killed any zombies lately, and you’re just totally feeling it.

You’ll need some distance weapons, obvs.

Well well well, you’ve come to the right place *hints at you to look at title, then winks*.

This week I met up with track & field athlete Victor Martin (along with the gracious help of teammates Brianna Viltz and Fatima Vergara) and they were all willing to give us some of their knowledge and guidance.

They show us how they would survive the zombie apocalypse using the “fielding” part of track & field with the shot put, hammer and discus in the video below.

Of course, the zombie apocalypse isn’t only about killing zombies.

So I asked Victor about how he would handle the other aspects of a zombie apocalypse, how track & field would help him survive, and his general thoughts on the zombie apocalypse in the video below.

Long Beach State track & field head out to USC this Saturday for the USC Trojan Invitational. It isn’t that far, y’all! Won’t be a bad thing to come out and show them some love!🙂

How A Journalist Kills A Zombie

Little twist – there is a plethora of sports games this week and no athletes available, so I’m gonna tell you how a journalist would KILL a zombie (not survive a zombie apocalypse because there aren’t enough words for that).

One obvious way, stab them in the head with your pen/pencil. You want to do it right on the side of the head to catch the brain, not in the eye because that’s not going to do anything. Stick ’em in the brain and they’re dead – K.I.S.S.

A more realistic way of killing a zombie, though, might be with something more sustainable like a screwdriver as shown in this video below from Zombie Go Boom TV.

Another way, a more modern journalistic take to killing a zombie, is with your computer/laptop. CAUTION: yes, you might break it, but is that really so important when your life is in danger?! I hope not.

Let’s face it, journalists aren’t the best athletes. So having a game plan of “RUN” might not be the best option. No point in killing them with our words because they have no brain (and you can’t change that! #thegovernorsdaughter #warmbodies)

So yes. We really only have two ways to killing a zombie. BUT I think journalists are very smart, and would be able to wiggle their way out of a tough situation. I don’t think surviving a zombie apocalypse would be that big of a problem.

FIGHTING ZOMBIES WITH BASKETBALL

Imagine a zombie outbreak happened during basketball practice.

What would you do? How would you handle it?

Spargo (a.k.a. Lauren Spargo) of the Long Beach State women’s basketball team gave her tips on how to use basketball to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Here, she explains and demonstrates how she would kill a zombie using basketball…

Yes, lots of explosion. But by the time a zombie apocalypse happens, athletes would be smart enough to make their equipment explosive, right? I hope so.

But, as we all know, the zombie apocalypse isn’t all about killing zombies.

Basketball prepares you with different skills (mentally and physically) that could really help in different situations that occur in a zombie apocalypse – like leading a group, what to do if a member of your group gets bit, what to do if you can’t find food or water, or how the support from your group can stop you from giving up.

Maggie from The Walking Dead walking back to the group after trying to find water. She didn’t, and neither did they.

Here’s what Spargo said to all of my questions…

And that’s how you do it, folks.

Shoutout to the LBSU women’s basketball team. They have a game this Thursday (2/26/15) against Hawai’i at the Pyramid. Show them some love!